Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.