hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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