Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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