Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize