Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
