ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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