yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
