Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
