The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
