he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
