The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize