smell my finger.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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