I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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