you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize