i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize