You're my little dorito
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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