We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
