I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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