I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
