im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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