i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
