I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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