would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize