so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I met the friendliest cop last night
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
