If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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