I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize