Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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i used baking grease as lip gloss
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
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i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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