Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
