Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
