I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up