Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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