Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't deserve a penis
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
