I love black thongs
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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