like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
