So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
