New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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