Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I bet he comes in French.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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