all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
