I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
