I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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