doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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