we have officially lost it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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