don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
