i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
