When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize