we have pet lesbian snakes
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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