screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
