And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
