You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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