When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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