dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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