im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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