oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
