IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize