I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize