Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
