toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
