I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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