soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
