The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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